A few days ago, my school competed in a Taekwondo tournament. These are always a little stressful for students, but a lot of fun. The stress comes from the pressure to compete and do your best. The fun comes from seeing so many other talented martial artists and cheering for the other students. For those of us that have gone to a few of these, it's a good excuse to see friends that we haven't seen in awhile and to have an opportunity to meet new ones. While watching some of the people compete, it is common to see school names and wonder where they are from - some are small clubs that are close-by, while others are from very far away. Someone always gets out their phone and looks the other dojangs up to see where they are from and what they study specifically.
On the websites, we see the full range of marketing. Everything from the humble and simple to the boisterous and braggadocious. Some put up pricing and a direct matter-of-fact listing on what they do. Others say how they are the best and have flashy sites. There are some common things claimed by all of them, however. Most schools will claim to help kids and adults have better discipline, more confidence, and to be more attentive. While it is true that many people do have these things after martial arts study, it seems worthwhile to explore how someone teaches another to have better discipline, increased self-confidence, and better attention. Is that possible? What is the method for doing this? Are martial arts classes uniquely suited to addressing these issues?
People that have studied martial arts or music with me for a long time know that I have developed an interest in word definition. I picked it up from my old teacher, Todd Strandberg. Long explorations about words like "should", "confidence", "attention", and "discipline" are often tolerated by close friends and colleagues because I'm convinced there is something to pull from doing it. While I've never gotten the hang of cutting to the heart of such a thing quickly like Todd does, I think I can do the topic some justice. If you have the patience for it, I encourage anyone to take time and consider the words we use every day. It may surprise you what you're actually saying.
People often come to my school and tell me they want to take classes to help them with their self-discipline. It is something I have always found interesting; what does someone mean by that? As a martial arts and music student, I never once thought about having to have discipline. If my teachers taught me something, I just seemed to work on it - in the car, at the dinner table, as I was falling asleep. I love these things and I do them the same way someone plays a video game or watches an interesting movie. What is self-discipline?
The same was true of confidence. As a small child, I was painfully shy with new people. The moment I got to know someone, I would open up very quickly. As I got older, I realized that I had some talent and that some people would find that interesting. I learned that I could trust myself to get things done most of the time if I just worked and did it. No one set out to give me self-confidence and, in some cases, people were concerned that I was too sure of myself as a teenager. Still, I always think that success is possible and I'm willing to give it a go if the possible failure isn't too costly.
Along these same lines was attention. I have a solid nerd streak and I find most anything interesting on some level. No one had to tell me to pay attention in classes. I just did it because it was interesting. Unfortunately, some school teachers had to see what a young Matt Thompson did if the lessons weren't interesting, but I wasn't malicious and could easily be brought around if the teacher showed their own care for the topic. Still, I never had a problem being attentive in music or martial arts studies. Since I don't think myself a terribly unique person - why was my childhood so different that I didn't need to be taught these things?
In reflecting on it, I think these words are being used incorrectly. When someone says they want to develop self-discipline, I often think what they really mean is "please teach me how to force myself to do the things I don't want to do." This is an incorrect approach, to my way of thinking. It is fragmentary in its nature, because the person is in conflict with themselves and they want you to help them listen to one half over the other. The problem is the fragmentation. When someone says they want to have more confidence, I think they are really saying "I want to assume I can do things that I don't know for sure I can do." This is also fragmentary because the fear of not being able to do something reflects the ignorance the person has about the task at hand. The fragmentation, again, is the issue. When someone says they want to have better attention, I often think what they really mean is "I want you to teach me to pay attention to things I actually don't care about." If something is important to you, then you will listen. There is fragmentation because there is conflict between what the person wants to do versus what the person feels guilty ignoring. Again, the problem is the person being divided inwardly.
So then, how can martial arts study help in these issues?
If a martial arts school's instructors understand these issues thoroughly, then they actually don't try to teach these things. Instead, they will teach their students that their attention, time, and hard work will change things around them. When someone feels like what they do, think about, and pay attention to influences the way that things unfold around them, then that person is empowered. It's like finding out you have an arm that you never realized you could use before. Naturally, the person having this experience will wonder how far they can take it. From being empowered, they become curious and playful. When someone is curious, they listen because they want to understand what is happening. From that curiosity comes the disciplined mind - a mind that studies and is attentive. From that attention, empowerment, and study comes the recognition that they can have an influence on the way things around them unfold and that success is possible. That is the healthy kind of confidence over the false illusion of being better than other people. From this cycle, the person begins to see their own talents and interests and begins to own their own life - all the outcomes, possibilities, and responsibilities. This is the constant conversation between the individual and the environment we call attention or awareness.
If a school doesn't understand this, then they will falsely inflate the student. This person will walk around with an incorrect understanding of their own abilities. This student will get occasional hints that their skill is shoddy and their insecurity will make them over-protective, fearful, and insular. They may have confidence, but they will crash the moment they are tested. They will fear the greatest teacher I've ever had: failure. They will not be whole people; they will be hollow in my way of thinking and will have to learn these skills in spite of their martial arts study rather than from it.
Is martial arts study uniquely suited for this? Not at all - I found the exact same things true for my music students or students of anything else. The trick is to find something you enjoy and to pour yourself completely into it. Find out how far it goes. Learn how to overcome the difficulties in its study. Apply yourself to the topic over time. Take smart risks and learn from failure. If someone studies in this way, they'll be more than attentive, confident, or disciplined. They will be engaged human beings that will accomplish whatever it is that is important in their lives.
... and they may win a few trophies along the way, too.
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