How Do I Support My Young Martial Arts Student?

    Many times, I get asked by parents about what they can do to help their son or daughter in their martial arts practice.  Indeed, a parent can set the tone of their child's martial arts practice.  In my experience, I've seen parents help motivate their kids through tough patches in their training as well as parents that have ruined their child's study.  Here are a few ideas that can help along the way.

1. Be sure to bring the child on time.  Too often, parents show up late and their kids have to rush to get changed.  Their practice starts off with them rushing in, interrupting class (exhibiting the emotional state that I playfully refer to as "walking around like an unwashed dog"), and then stretching poorly and risking injury.  Show up 5 to 10 minutes early for a class.
   
   
2. Be involved in the martial arts school.  In the case of my school, we're located close to a grocery, dry cleaner, and lots of other errand-type places.  We're more than happy to have your children practice with us while you do what you need to do.  However, know the instructors' names!  These people are going to be leaving a life long impression on your kids.  Be a part of that.
   
   
3. Only allow your child to progress through the ranks if his or her behavior has been acceptable.  Don't feel pressured by your child or the school to approve and pay for a test if you don't feel your child has earned it.  When you pay and sign for the test, you're approving of what's going on.
   
   
4. If you have a problem with something or someone at the martial arts school, be sure to handle it in a way that doesn't cause problems for your child.  Sometimes, you may have a problem with an instructor or another parent - these things happen.  However, the concerns with the business should be handled with the school owner after classes.  If your child is present during the conversation, be sure to speak in a tone that will allow the teacher to maintain credibility with your child.  Set a good example for your child in the appropriate way to handle problems with others (i.e. without name calling and rude behavior).  Use this as an opportunity to teach your child how to deal with issues that come up in life.  In this way, your child is still going to learn and grow no matter what.  Be the example you want for your kids.
   
   
5.  In the rare instance that there is an injury, don't panic.  Bruises on the body (and even on the ego) are common in martial arts training.  As long as there is no abuse occurring, allow the child to brush him or herself off and try again.  It's important for the students to see that failure is a great teacher.  Failing doesn't make you a failure; it simply makes you human.  Some of the most accomplished people could write volumes on all the projects that didn't work.  Those earlier failures shape a person's abilities and hone his or her's attention and skill.  Injuries are failures as well - failures in safety procedures, failures in technique execution, or just good old fashioned failures of skill.  Learn and move on.
   
   
6. Sometimes, your kids are going to be grumpy about coming to class.  Even a really great school that motivates kids well will have students that occasionally don't want to go.  Take a look at your own exercise schedule; do you feel equally motivated every day to exercise?  While it shouldn't be a constant tug of war to get them to go, it is common to have to motivate your child from time to time.  If it's a good school, then your child will come out of class feeling a lot better.  Point that out to them!  Teach them the importance of working through the rough patches to get to the better parts of life.  They will learn the virtues of being devoted and tenacious young people that aren't afraid to do what it takes to get the things that are important to them.  That alone can be more empowering and liberating than any technique I could ever teach.

Keep these things in mind and you'll be a great asset to your child's martial arts experience.  Be on time, have a relationship with the instructors, stay involved in the process, be a role model, and be there for the tough times.  With a parent doing those things, any kid is bound to have a great start in his or her martial arts journey.